Who's Bad?!

I've been reading Wicked by Gregory Maguire little by little over the past few weeks, mainly because I want to have the book read before I go see the play. And also because I have always been interested in hearing the other side of things... how did the Wicked Witch of the West get to be so wicked? What was up with those glittery shoes? Where did the flying monkeys come from? I'm only about a third of the way through so I really don't have many answers yet. But one thing that intrigues me and always has is the idea that maybe the bad guy really isn't so bad... or what really is evil? Sometimes, it's hard to tell. I think in some cases, it's all about perspective. Know your backstory.

I sympathize with Elphaba aka The Wicked Witch because in the past, I've been painted as the bad guy in a situation or two. Nothing serious. Teenage shenanigans mostly. Everything was eventually cleared up, but at the time I was a little astounded at the position I found myself in. Someone said this and someone said that and... somehow, I was left holding the bag... and I didn't know what was in the bag or what the bag even was. When I was 19, my roommate at the time told several people (all mutual friends or associates) that I stole her cell phone. I had no idea she was telling people this... to this day, I have no idea how she came up with this story or WHY (her cell phone was stolen by a waiter at a restaurant... and she knew it). All I knew was that people started acting strangely around me. They'd speak, but wouldn't hang around for long. I noticed it, said hmmmm and filed it away. Eventually, people realized something wasn't right and a few of them told me what was going on. I was astonshed, as the whole thing was just… stupid. From a common sense standpoint, where would I use a cell phone that I stole from a person whom I LIVED WITH in a small apartment? Who would I give the number to? We had the same friends. When I confronted her, she told me my friends who came to me were liars and that she knew the waiter stole the phone. Luckily for me, she totaled her car a couple of months later and had to move back home. She was physically fine (I'm not that mean) - only the car got hurt.

My point is, what if she had come up with a more believable story or had people who were more gullible to tell her tale to? Some of the people she talked to did believe her, at least for a few days. If this was a once upon a time situation, would I have been the Evil Cell-Phone Stealing Roommate? I'm sure I would have been illustrated wearing all black with teeth missing and warty skin… bleh. I had a friend run into her a couple of years ago and she was STILL saying I had stolen the phone! So if she was the one to write the story instead of me... how easily it shifts. In her mind, twisted as it may be, I'm definitely the bad guy. I've also been a witness to similar situations with friends, one fairly recently when someone accused a friend of mine of harming them physically. If the one telling the tale had been talking to less intelligent folks... who knows how it could have turned out? And that's pretty scary because... who knows how often this may have happened in history?

I took away two things, one of which being: to this day, I'm kind of suspicious of people who say… odd or off-putting things to me. I've been involved in enough situations by now with people who I felt kind of weird about, but assured myself that they were cool… only to realize I should have gone with my gut. My ex-roomie was one of those people. She said a few things prior to that incident, nothing that would have enabled me to foresee what ended up happening, but maybe that I should have paid a little more attention to. I pay more attention now… it may not result in a cut-off, but I might limit my association or watch carefully. Sometimes, it's good to be wary. 

The other: the bad guy you see isn't always the bad guy that IS. Sadly, in some cases, women are the best at painting the picture we want people to see… we are usually able to tap into emotions (real or fake) more easily, thereby bringing forth tears more easily, thereby going into hysterics more easily… thereby fully appearing "wronged." Just because someone is crying doesn't mean they are right. I've seen plenty of people victimized by "the cryer." Myself included. And sometimes the bad guy is dressed up to look like the good guy, smooth-talking, explanation for EVERYTHING. Watch out for them, too. And of course, as with most things, sometimes the bad guy really IS the bad guy. But there are always exceptions… be aware…



Mmmmmhmmmm....